Friday, September 4, 2020

How to Embrace Your Emotions to Save Marriage

 



A human being is full of emotions from the day they are born. They have emotions like happiness, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shyness, and so on. Human emotions are versatile and unpredictable, and they change every moment depending on how each person handles their emotions when they’re looking to gear up with themselves. 
Let us think about a situation, where a person is happy about getting news of a job promotion but at the same point, when he gets to know about his close relative’s demise, he becomes sad. We start memorizing the best time spent with that person.

Everyone has their own set of emotions and a different style of expressing them. Many express their emotions by speaking, whereas a few express them by being silent, and some by way of massive reactions. Even animals have their own set of emotions, although they have their own way of communicating them. Emotions play a crucial role in one’s life. 

Our emotions assist us in many things, such as conveying our message or meaning, providing us with clarity, calming us during difficult times, and making life decisions. Our subconscious mind behaves the same way we would like it to be treated. Therefore, if we give it positive thoughts, it’ll have a positive impact on our health and future thoughts.

To apply this idea, let’s look at the example of a slim girl named Amira. During her college days, she was quite an introvert: she never expressed her feelings, but instead kept them to herself for fear of hurting anyone. How does she feel? What if she’s looking for someone to talk to? She did not think it would be a good idea to express her feelings. She felt that either people would blame her or that she would end up hurting them. She was not confident about what to express, how much she should express, and to whom it should be shared. 

Being a shy girl, Amira never made friends with those whom her shared emotions would be safe. She never spent enough time with her family for them to know her likes and dislikes; she never made herself understood. Instead, she kept herself busy in activities like reading books, painting, journaling, and meditation, etc.. 

Because she always tried to hide her emotions, this caused anger to build up inside her. She used to become furious at the smallest things, like when her parents asked her plan for her marriage. Despite usually being very polite to her parents, she rudely walked away.

One day, she was sitting on the balcony with her parents drinking a cup of coffee. Her parents brought up the discussion of her marriage plans and, surprisingly, this time she was already prepared for it. Yes! After a long discussion with her parents, she made up her mind. But her anger kept bothering her. “How could she manage her marriage if she couldn’t express her feelings?”

Amira thought that maybe discussing things with her partner would help her to get herself out of a place of anger. Perhaps she might find comfort in expressing her feelings. But things were the same even after marriage. Being a new daughter-in-law, her responsibilities increased: her in-laws had expectations for her, and she wasn’t able to manage her anger with her husband; she would get furious every time. She asked herself, why was she unable to share her feelings? What made her so self-conscious? Why did she feel so blank? 

One day, sitting quietly in her room, she wrote down all the questions she had in a diary. What should she do to make it right? She cried for it weighed down her heart. Crying is always the best release for emotion when one’s heart tank is full. When we cry, we make space for new, positive feelings.

Luckily, Amira found a calm and supporting life-partner with whom she was able to express her feelings. He made her feel calm and comfortable. She discussed everything about her anger with her husband. An intelligent man, he asked her to find a state of calm first and then speak out to express whatever was running in her thoughts. He helped her to solve her queries.

In doing so, Amira’s husband gave her a few suggestions:
  • Write down all running thoughts
  • Don’t take everything  personally
  • Learn to adjust and build up interpersonal skills
  • Do something productive 
  • Start expressing yourself  

Amira followed all five pieces of this advice for a continuous 21 days, and guess what? She found herself transformed. Everything takes time to adapt, some more than others. For instance, internalized emotions like anger can take a while, whereas a few emotional releases like crying come naturally. 

Amira’s anger hadn't gone away, but she had learned how to manage it well. This helped her to improve her relationship with her in-laws, her parents, her friends, her husband, and, most importantly, with herself. She started loving herself more. 

In the years that followed, she learned other ways to manage her anger:
  • She started focusing on what made her happy
  • She started respecting everyone’s point of view
  • She started being grateful  
  • She started enjoying her life 
  • Most importantly, she accepted herself

Now, Amira is a more mature and determined person, who takes life’s worries as challenges that she can face gracefully. She thanks God for blessing her with great in-laws, a husband, and both the parents who stood up for her every time. She was no longer overwhelmed by negative emotions; most especially, she had overcome her anger. She was able to manage it now because she wanted to. Like Amira, we can also take control of our emotions.

Emotions have a powerful impact on our minds, health, and system. So, allow your mind and heart to decide which emotions of yours you want to pamper, and which ones to put in the garbage. Let us strengthen ourselves. Most especially, we want to control our emotions in the right manner and not allow anyone to control us.

The Blog is sponsored by CAMERIIFASHION




43 comments:

  1. Very good post. Nicely written. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very nice post. Liked it. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautifully crafted. I really enjoyed reading it.
    Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a very helpful article for someone like me struggling with Depression. Thank you, very informative

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nicely Drafted. Emotional stability is very important

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very well written...keep it up ๐Ÿ‘

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great work. Very nicely written. All the best for your future endeavours.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good words choosen๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

    ReplyDelete
  9. Now this is surely something to think about. I like the perspective you have presented.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Expressing our emotions is very important. Otherwise how would the other person know whats going on. Sometimes, we try to run away from our feelings which I not right. I liked how you discussed a serious topic through fiction.

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh yes.. expression our emotions is the first thing for a happy and transparent married life. This is the major reason many aren't able to have a fruitful married life

    ReplyDelete
  12. We need to understand that expressing your emotions are very important in any relationship, and I am so happy you shared this so beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Relationships are all about giving each other support and comfort and understanding each other's emotions. I liked how you explained this beautifully through this anecdote.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Everyone has emotions, but not allowing the emotions to get the upper hand is the secret. Managing our emotions is very important to have a balanced life.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is so thought provoking and helpful. It's is very good the Amira has such a supporting husband that helps her to find a way out

    ReplyDelete
  16. Expressing emotions in any relationship plays an important role .. you have shared this in a beautiful way .

    ReplyDelete
  17. Beautifully crafted. I really enjoyed reading it.As we move through our daily lives, we experience a variety of emotions.
    Emotions help us relate to other people, know what we want, and make choices. It's is very good the Amira has such a supporting husband that helps her to find a way out.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Relationship is all about loving each other and respecting their feeling and emotions, loved the post and how you have explained it so beautifuly

    ReplyDelete
  19. The biggest mistake I used to make is taking everything personally. You are right. If we stop doing that half of the issues will be solved.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Those five pieces of advice I have taken a screenshot and kept. These are valuable points you have given.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Emotional Intelligence is definitely of real importance. We should know how to control our enotions, instead of letting others control it.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love the way how through the story of Amira , you have guided your readers to take control of the emotions. A lovely post.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Expression of feeling and emotions is utmost important in any relation. And marriage is one such relation that requires transparency and freedom of thought. I love the way you have penned down in this post

    ReplyDelete
  24. I believe thay expressing our emotions is very imp to keep the relationship healthy. The spouse shld know how the other one is feeling and that makes a relationship healthy.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Emotions are indeed strong and can be a reason for breaking or making of a relationship. I loved reading this blog and how beautifully you have explained it all :)

    ReplyDelete