Sunday, September 13, 2020

5 Things You Need to Stop Right Now to Improve Mental Health

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Reading Time: 4 minutes

We all realize how much COVID-19 has affected us mentally.

No doubt, a lot of people have become consciously focussed on their physical health but being stuck at home, has affected their mental health too. Mental health is the key to achieve anything that we want to. It refers to the cognitive behavior and emotional well-being. Our thoughts are expressed and define the outcome of how our mental state of mind is.

Everything is recorded in our brain signifies what we represent to the outer world. With a little effort that we put in physical efforts, with the same, mental health is also taken care of. One should not ignore how mental health affects us. During Lockdown, both men and women have been loaded with a lot of work but women are the ones who were affected more and seem to be more responsible when it comes to household responsibilities whereas they were taking care of everything from cleaning, cooking, entertaining kids, and what not during lockdown days.

Relax ladies!

 Below are 5 mentioned things that need to quit immediately.


1. Stop Judgment 

One needs to understand that judging someone or oneself defines how we think about them and ourselves. If we judge someone, we don’t accept them as they’re. Even if we’re judged by other’s points of view, we wouldn’t like it ourselves. First of all, we need to stop this on a serious note and start accepting things as they are.  It becomes a lot easier for us to connect with the things, the people. We can relate to the person’s feelings with ease.

 2. Stop Comparing

When a child is born, he/she is born with his/her own set of skills and inherent talent. one loses his/her self-identity when he/she compares himself/herself with others. As they grow up, their confidence is boosted up by the experiences. Therefore, one should be aware of his/her specific skills and should not to compare with anyone.

If you have the confidence then it becomes a lot easier to focus on oneself instead of making the comparison with others. As we know, most of the homemaker, their work is not appreciated when compared to the women who’re working from 9 am to 6 pm. For a homemaker, her family and kids’ are her priorities. For working women, completing her regular office tasks on given deadlines would be her priority.

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3. Stop Taking Things Personally

One needs to understand that everything is not about “you” all the time. People can talk behind your back and in front but it’s your responsibility not to take the things personally but just to ignore them. You don’t need to feel insecure all the time when people are talking about you whether it's positive or negative.

It’s their problem that they’re struggling with when they talk behind your back, they may not be able to reach where you’re, they may not compete with you, they might feel jealous of you but you should train your mind to see positivity in everything and make the mind more stable.

4. Stop Overreacting

Once you’ve decided “not to take the things personally” that means you’ve decided to value yourself more in terms of self-care. You need to stop overreacting to things that are not meant for you.

It’ll help you to stay calm and more focussed on the things which you want to accomplish. Overreacting to certain things makes everything worse. Therefore, one needs to be calm and observing things silently and adapting it quietly in their life.

5. Stop Feeding Your Mind The Garbage

If one wants to feel the mental calmness, then one needs to stop feeding the mind with the garbage but feeding it with good positive thoughts. It’ll help you to be more positive and relaxed. For allowing positivity to enter, one should do positive self-talk, reading something inspiring, doing what you enjoy the most, trying something new, etc.

For example, most of the women talk about their daughter-in-law and vice-versa, talking about their kids, their husband, their families, their schedule, their life problems, etc. what are they doing? This is the way they’re feeding their mind with the garbage and stopping themselves to feel gratitude for the things they’re already blessed with.

Mental Health can be improved by focusing on things like “letting it go” which no more suits you, give your mental health a break by doing a few breathing exercises, etc.

Allow your mental health to experience something new by

reading, journaling, meditating, helping someone, and being

grateful for everything in life.

Feel free to share your views in the comment box and also

share what do you do to improve your mental health?

Friday, September 4, 2020

How to Embrace Your Emotions to Save Marriage


A human being is full of emotions from the day they are born. They have emotions like happiness, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shyness, and so on. Human emotions are versatile and unpredictable, and they change every moment depending on how each person handles their emotions when they’re looking to gear up with themselves. 
Let us think about a situation, where a person is happy about getting news of a job promotion but at the same point, when he gets to know about his close relative’s demise, he becomes sad. We start memorizing the best time spent with that person.

Everyone has their own set of emotions and a different style of expressing them. Many express their emotions by speaking, whereas a few express them by being silent, and some by way of massive reactions. Even animals have their own set of emotions, although they have their own way of communicating them. Emotions play a crucial role in one’s life. 

Our emotions assist us in many things, such as conveying our message or meaning, providing us with clarity, calming us during difficult times, and making life decisions. Our subconscious mind behaves the same way we would like it to be treated. Therefore, if we give it positive thoughts, it’ll have a positive impact on our health and future thoughts.

To apply this idea, let’s look at the example of a slim girl named Amira. During her college days, she was quite an introvert: she never expressed her feelings, but instead kept them to herself for fear of hurting anyone. How does she feel? What if she’s looking for someone to talk to? She did not think it would be a good idea to express her feelings. She felt that either people would blame her or that she would end up hurting them. She was not confident about what to express, how much she should express, and to whom it should be shared. 

Being a shy girl, Amira never made friends with those whom her shared emotions would be safe. She never spent enough time with her family for them to know her likes and dislikes; she never made herself understood. Instead, she kept herself busy in activities like reading books, painting, journaling, and meditation, etc.. 

Because she always tried to hide her emotions, this caused anger to build up inside her. She used to become furious at the smallest things, like when her parents asked her plan for her marriage. Despite usually being very polite to her parents, she rudely walked away.

One day, she was sitting on the balcony with her parents drinking a cup of coffee. Her parents brought up the discussion of her marriage plans and, surprisingly, this time she was already prepared for it. Yes! After a long discussion with her parents, she made up her mind. But her anger kept bothering her. “How could she manage her marriage if she couldn’t express her feelings?”

Amira thought that maybe discussing things with her partner would help her to get herself out of a place of anger. Perhaps she might find comfort in expressing her feelings. But things were the same even after marriage. Being a new daughter-in-law, her responsibilities increased: her in-laws had expectations for her, and she wasn’t able to manage her anger with her husband; she would get furious every time. She asked herself, why was she unable to share her feelings? What made her so self-conscious? Why did she feel so blank? 

One day, sitting quietly in her room, she wrote down all the questions she had in a diary. What should she do to make it right? She cried for it weighed down her heart. Crying is always the best release for emotion when one’s heart tank is full. When we cry, we make space for new, positive feelings.

Luckily, Amira found a calm and supporting life-partner with whom she was able to express her feelings. He made her feel calm and comfortable. She discussed everything about her anger with her husband. An intelligent man, he asked her to find a state of calm first and then speak out to express whatever was running in her thoughts. He helped her to solve her queries.

In doing so, Amira’s husband gave her a few suggestions:
  • Write down all running thoughts
  • Don’t take everything  personally
  • Learn to adjust and build up interpersonal skills
  • Do something productive 
  • Start expressing yourself  

Amira followed all five pieces of this advice for a continuous 21 days, and guess what? She found herself transformed. Everything takes time to adapt, some more than others. For instance, internalized emotions like anger can take a while, whereas a few emotional releases like crying come naturally. 

Amira’s anger hadn't gone away, but she had learned how to manage it well. This helped her to improve her relationship with her in-laws, her parents, her friends, her husband, and, most importantly, with herself. She started loving herself more. 

In the years that followed, she learned other ways to manage her anger:
  • She started focusing on what made her happy
  • She started respecting everyone’s point of view
  • She started being grateful  
  • She started enjoying her life 
  • Most importantly, she accepted herself

Now, Amira is a more mature and determined person, who takes life’s worries as challenges that she can face gracefully. She thanks God for blessing her with great in-laws, a husband, and both the parents who stood up for her every time. She was no longer overwhelmed by negative emotions; most especially, she had overcome her anger. She was able to manage it now because she wanted to. Like Amira, we can also take control of our emotions.

Emotions have a powerful impact on our minds, health, and system. So, allow your mind and heart to decide which emotions of yours you want to pamper, and which ones to put in the garbage. Let us strengthen ourselves. Most especially, we want to control our emotions in the right manner and not allow anyone to control us.

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